Today. A special day.
In summary: The Car Ride, Cycling, Stopping by Bedok Jetty, going to Burger King for a meal, Sitting by the Bench at East Coast to talk, Dinner at Saizeriya, The Dropoff.
The Car Ride:
Hi J, its been a long time. Glad we're going out to East Coast Park today. You're late tho. We were supposed to meet at 12plus. Its 1plus. Terrible.
Stopping By Bedok Jetty:
We talked about.. Your results, how you've been doing, your friends, plans after graduation, graduation trips and if there are any new guys coming along. Hmm... Recently busy.. Following the plans of friends.. "Im a very good follower!"
Burger King for a meal:
We shared a meal cause it would be too filling. We had Iced Latte. Talked about more things.
Sitting by the Bench at East Coast to talk:
We talked about, any girls in my life? Any guys in yours? Share leh? You know them for a month approx. We talked about the past. What happened? Nth apparently. It just didnt feel right. True, and you didnt drop the bomb the right way, which I deserve, true. We agreed. Good. Your family is different. Your mom only asked if you are still going out with me.. Then I asked, when you dropped the bomb, was it the end? You said yes, we were both confused. So I asked again, (putting my hand upon your shoulder) Would I ever get to hold you like this again?
No.
Okay, lets go for dinner.
Dinner at Saizeriya:
We had cheap italian japanese food, over which we discussed the payback rate of my SMU fees. I am Thankful. You paid for the meal, after I paid for the days' expenses. I am impressed. You also gave me a belated birthday present. A pen. I am impressed.
Walked to the car:
Wanted to hug you for a last time. Mission aborted. Arranged to meet B, and you kindly sent me there.
The Dropoff:
Me "One last thing to ask you"
"?"
Me "J, did you enjoy yourself?"
"Yes ah"
Me "Okay.."
"......."
"Can I hug you before I go?"
"Why leh"
Me "Yin1 Wei4 Wo3 Nian4 Jiu4" (because. I miss the past.)
"Okay"
Me "(Emotionally overwhelmed)"
.
.
.
.
..
.
Talked to B.
Move on? Get J back?
Decide, and move.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Monday, 11 June 2012
Crests and Troughs
Its been awhile.
(5-8 Jun 2012)
I've been to Bangkok, Phuket and back. All within 4D3N. Watched the Cabaret Show, did water parachuting, walk around with mom etc. Enjoyable trip nonetheless, even though with family, we can do less. But each group has their own purpose to fufil. And I am glad that this trip happened. Bought 5 shirts, which I need. Time to pick up some skills in terms of, ahem, 'packaging' huh.. haha.
WRT Orientation Camps, I am excited. I cannot wait to see what happens. To see the interactions and mixes between ages, to see the chemistry, awkwardness all around. And I am right smack in the midst of it! To see what sort of people I will see around, to get to the next phase.
Yet I am in no hurry... I have been clubbing with friends here and there, meeting up with Bryan and co, Marcus, Yi Fang, Army friends, Zili and gang, JC Clique Choon Guan and Co. Wow. seems like a whole lot of people. Not to mention spending some time with the Green Bean gang. Great to see everyone again. To have this transition period, to think to wander, to wonder.
Conversations, strengthened friendships proper conversations, improper conversations. All of it, is important. They make up who we become, some way or another. "In Limbo" is not really a waste of time. It is what you make it to be.
Yet another talk with Bryan. He's in the army phase, I am in the pre Uni phase. Yet we are able to come together to talk about things, which we suddenly can relate to in many ways.
Yap, my teacher from Green Bean told me before... He thought that Jasmine left cause I did not tell her what I wanted. I could not completely comprehend, yet Bryan did. And apparently B&T took about 2 years to learn the simple things. What seemed crystal clear to Bryan, might just be confusing to Ting! Now that I say it, it seems really simple. But when you are there, in that scenario, all the emotions, all the closeness. Yet some essential differences remain. We all need reminders sometimes. And I'm glad I talk to Yap... He teaches me too much... Totally enjoy conversation with Bryan, and the same goes for him. Hah.
In today's context.. I guess not too many guys have as simple a r/s as me and Bryan..... Just saying. And I sure as hell am proud of it.
I'm excited for Jin Hong to go to army, to see how he will grow, mature and become the man he could be to the people that matter to him, and vice versa. So much potential, so much regret. I understand, I empathise, yet I know he needs to keep struggling and going. How to say....
Just say what I can, at the right time. Minimal friction, maximum effort, ideally. Hahah, time to hone my skills of sensitivity+EQ+wisdom.....
After everything.... I am thankful for all that happened.... ALL. Everything. Including you, Jasmine. But I guess we were indeed.. Not meant to be. Let us take the hints from nature. Time to move on, even though I am sentimental, contrary to popular belief.... haha :) Great to rant once in a while ^^
(5-8 Jun 2012)
I've been to Bangkok, Phuket and back. All within 4D3N. Watched the Cabaret Show, did water parachuting, walk around with mom etc. Enjoyable trip nonetheless, even though with family, we can do less. But each group has their own purpose to fufil. And I am glad that this trip happened. Bought 5 shirts, which I need. Time to pick up some skills in terms of, ahem, 'packaging' huh.. haha.
WRT Orientation Camps, I am excited. I cannot wait to see what happens. To see the interactions and mixes between ages, to see the chemistry, awkwardness all around. And I am right smack in the midst of it! To see what sort of people I will see around, to get to the next phase.
Yet I am in no hurry... I have been clubbing with friends here and there, meeting up with Bryan and co, Marcus, Yi Fang, Army friends, Zili and gang, JC Clique Choon Guan and Co. Wow. seems like a whole lot of people. Not to mention spending some time with the Green Bean gang. Great to see everyone again. To have this transition period, to think to wander, to wonder.
Conversations, strengthened friendships proper conversations, improper conversations. All of it, is important. They make up who we become, some way or another. "In Limbo" is not really a waste of time. It is what you make it to be.
Yet another talk with Bryan. He's in the army phase, I am in the pre Uni phase. Yet we are able to come together to talk about things, which we suddenly can relate to in many ways.
Yap, my teacher from Green Bean told me before... He thought that Jasmine left cause I did not tell her what I wanted. I could not completely comprehend, yet Bryan did. And apparently B&T took about 2 years to learn the simple things. What seemed crystal clear to Bryan, might just be confusing to Ting! Now that I say it, it seems really simple. But when you are there, in that scenario, all the emotions, all the closeness. Yet some essential differences remain. We all need reminders sometimes. And I'm glad I talk to Yap... He teaches me too much... Totally enjoy conversation with Bryan, and the same goes for him. Hah.
In today's context.. I guess not too many guys have as simple a r/s as me and Bryan..... Just saying. And I sure as hell am proud of it.
I'm excited for Jin Hong to go to army, to see how he will grow, mature and become the man he could be to the people that matter to him, and vice versa. So much potential, so much regret. I understand, I empathise, yet I know he needs to keep struggling and going. How to say....
Just say what I can, at the right time. Minimal friction, maximum effort, ideally. Hahah, time to hone my skills of sensitivity+EQ+wisdom.....
After everything.... I am thankful for all that happened.... ALL. Everything. Including you, Jasmine. But I guess we were indeed.. Not meant to be. Let us take the hints from nature. Time to move on, even though I am sentimental, contrary to popular belief.... haha :) Great to rant once in a while ^^
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